Kick the Drink Easily! Page 4
The hard truth is that alcohol is a drug and one hell of an addictive one at that. Like any drug, its nature is to drag you further and further into its subtle life and soul-destroying clutches. However, contrary to the indoctrination by organisations like AA and despite the collective belief among drinkers that life just wouldn’t be worth living without the most heavily advertised drug on the planet, there is some very good news for anyone caught in the alcohol trap …
It’s Easy to Stop Drinking
Not only is it easy to stop drinking, but the process of stopping is enjoyable and it is easy to stay off the stuff too. That is precisely what this book is all about; showing you just how easy it can be to stop drinking and stay off alcohol. This can be achieved without the need for willpower, discipline, misery or feelings of deprivation. The truth is that it has always been easy to stop drinking alcohol but we are conditioned to believe otherwise. The problem I had when I tried to quit was that I had approached it in the wrong way for so long that I was convinced that it was difficult to stop. Also, society has taught us that it is not only difficult but almost impossible to achieve true freedom from alcohol. This is another reason why people try to cut down or control their intake rather than stop altogether. After all, what is the point in trying to escape from prison when you have been conditioned to believe that there is no possible chance of freedom? The next best thing is to make prison life somehow more bearable.
Over the years I made several attempts to stop drinking. Well, when I say stop, I guess I mean cut down. The thought of actually quitting FOREVER put the fear of God into me. I often went on the wagon just to prove that I wasn’t hooked and that I was in control but surely this just proved that I was. I once read a book called How to Stop Drinking for a Month in which the author stated that alcohol is the most wonderful thing on the planet, that you will definitely miss drinking and that you will find it very difficult to stop. However, he suggests you should stop for a month every now and then, just to prove that you are in control. In control? What is he talking about? You have just bought a book explaining how to give up alcohol for a month; surely that is proof in itself that you are not in control. If you were in control and could take it or leave it, you would simply stop. You certainly wouldn’t need the help of a book would you?
A few years ago I would never have believed that, not only was it easy to stop drinking but that I would ever contemplate stopping forever, enjoy the process and never miss it again. However, that is exactly what happened and I now want to show the world exactly how we have all been fooled so that everyone else can find freedom, gain true control and achieve what is apparently impossible.
People who realise they are in the alcohol trap and want to get out are led to believe that they are somehow different to ‘normal’ drinkers and have lost control. Immediately they are branded with the title ‘alcoholic.’ We are taught that we are born with the disease alcoholism and can never really be free. So why should you be happy when you stop? In the poor drinker’s mind there is nothing to be happy about. On the contrary, there is something to be very miserable about – the prospect of a lifetime of deprivation. So we are conditioned, not only by our own attempts to stop but also by society, into thinking that quitting alcohol and being completely free is impossible to achieve. We hear of people going to rehab clinics to dry out for months and still not being free, yet the beautiful truth is that it is easy to stop drinking and not to miss it for one reason alone – there is nothing to miss. It is all one huge lie that we have been conditioned to believe, not only by society but also by the clever illusions created by the drug itself.
Why is it difficult to stop drinking? This should be the real question. After all, you don’t even need to do anything. All you have to do is not drink alcohol. If you were trying to navigate your way around the world in a hot air balloon, that would be difficult. If you had to run a hundred metres in under ten seconds, then it might take years to reach peak physical condition and, even then, you might not be physically capable of achieving it. So why do people, when they have reached the stage where they want to stop drinking, knowing that it is slowly destroying them both physically and mentally, find it so difficult to achieve? It is simply because, although they strongly believe that alcohol is destructive, they still think it provides some sort of genuine pleasure or crutch. They have reached a stage where they know the disadvantages outweigh the advantages but, despite that, still believe there are benefits to drinking alcohol. While the drinker continues to believe this, he or she will always find it very difficult to quit or feel miserable when they have. This is why it was so difficult for me during my three month experience on the wagon.
Once the illusions have been removed and the drinker realises that they were caught in an ingenious trap, then the penny finally drops and they realise that there are absolutely no advantages whatsoever to drinking alcohol. Then, and only then, is true freedom possible. If the illusions and years of brainwashing have not been removed fully and they continue to believe they have made a genuine sacrifice, then, even if they do not drink, they will still never feel truly free. As I said earlier, in order to escape from any trap you must realise you are in one but it is just as important to appreciate that you are free once you have escaped. Unfortunately the drinker is told he can never escape so he never feels free. In his mind he hasn’t reached the stage where he is relieved not to need a drink. He is always in the process of stopping drinking as it continues to be a ‘work in progress.’
Many years ago I saw ex-England footballer Paul Merson being interviewed on TV. Most of the interview was about his drinking, or not drinking to be more precise. Paul was undoubtedly to be admired for what he has achieved after announcing that he was an alcoholic. The problem was that at the time he didn’t seem to know that he was free because he didn’t feel free. Somebody gave him a label and told him that he can only ever expect a satisfactory way of life. They told him that he was going to have to battle the desire to drink for the rest of his life. In fact, in the interview he said that he was still taking one day at a time. No wonder we don’t look forward to quitting. Paul struggled for over four years then fell off the wagon. During those four years he felt as though he couldn’t go out and have fun like everyone else. He was told that he was different, so he felt different. He felt miserable and deprived about not being able to drink for four years. No wonder he eventually succumbed. I do not know whether Paul is drinking or not now but I can only hope that he has read this book, or found another way, and is now finally free. The alcohol trap is very simple and my only question is: ‘Why did it take me so long to figure the whole thing out?’ It is easy to stop drinking and enjoyable to be free for the rest of your life. All we need to do is remove the brainwashing and conditioning because that is the source of our addiction.
To be honest, some of the advice given by so-called alcohol addiction experts perpetuates the illusion that you will find it difficult, or even impossible, to stop drinking. They imply that you will have to go through months of torture and that it won’t be easy. ‘It’s a long road ahead,’ they might say. Well perhaps it is. If you go about it the wrong way but then so is Rubik’s Cube until you discover the solution.
One of Drinkline’s old pamphlets reads: The Effective Strategies to Help you Cope with Stopping Drinking. The words ‘cope with’ already imply that to stop drinking is difficult. They suggest, once again, that you can never be free but only come to terms with or ‘cope with’ stopping the drink. They then proceed to give you a list of ‘effective strategies’ to hinder you (oh sorry, I mean help you!). I have already mentioned one of these strategies that states you should:
Note down all the reasons why you want to stop
I have already explained why this strategy doesn’t help people to stop drinking but in fact makes it harder to quit. Logically it should help, but everything about alcohol addiction that appears logical is in fact usually the complete opposite. When a drinker is stressed or under pressure
, he will reach for a drink, so listing all the reasons why he shouldn’t will simply remind him of what he already knows. That will usually make him even more stressed and pressurised than he was before he created that list. So what is the first thing an alcohol addict is likely to do? Have a drink to try and block his mind to what he already knew anyway of course. As I have said, people do not drink for the reasons they shouldn’t, but for the reasons they want to drink, so this piece of advice clearly doesn’t help people to stop, no matter how many experts say otherwise. Now let’s explore some of the other ‘helpful’ strategies mentioned in this pamphlet.
Change your routine – perhaps choose different routes to the office or shops, avoiding pubs and off-licences
In other words, they are suggesting that you remove temptation. Again, this seems logical advice but it is in fact nonsense. They are telling you that you should somehow avoid the 200,000 pubs and off-licences in the UK on your way to the office or shops, avoiding those selling alcohol, otherwise you will be exposed to temptation. Presumably you shouldn’t watch television or listen to the radio either as alcohol is often advertised there. The advertisements always present drink as pleasurable and marvellous, so you might be tempted if you watch or listen and, again, you would be failing to follow their strategy. You might as well never go out again, as you may be tempted to drink in the company of other drinkers. What about the likelihood that you have also had alcohol with a meal? Do you never eat again? Think about it, how can you avoid temptation if you still want to drink? When I drank every lunchtime, at every meal, every evening and every day, I was tempted. So, in order not to be tempted, you should never wake up. Even then, you might be dreaming about having a drink. The fact is that if you still want to drink, you will be tempted no matter where you walk to or from.
Discover different ways to relax
Different ways to relax? This is another huge part of the brainwashing (which we will destroy later on) implying that alcohol genuinely relaxes you. The beautiful truth is that you won’t need to find different ways to relax as you will be far more relaxed as a non-drinker anyway. It is alcohol that causes you to feel un-relaxed in the first place as I will demonstrate later.
Take up old interests and activities you used to enjoy or explore new ones
What old interests do they mean? I started drinking when I was at school so I guess I should get out my skateboard instead of having a drink. This would prove very difficult to do while eating and this advice perpetuates the fear that you will no longer be able to the same things as a drinker, like socialising. You will soon realise that this is rubbish.
Try different types of soft drinks – you may like them!
Oh come on. If you don’t have anything constructive to say, say nothing. Do they think we are children? In fact, would you dream of telling your child something so patently obvious? There I was, an alcohol addict for years, and all I had to do was drink soft drinks instead of alcoholic ones and my problem would be solved? Why didn’t I think of that?
Do something while you drink at a social venue such as play darts, bingo or dance
Are they on a wind-up with this one? Play darts? Of course there is ample proof to show that playing darts helps people to stop or cut down on drinking. I mean you have only got to look at the bellies of some top darts players to see that!
Prepare yourself – rehearse saying ‘NO’ to offers of alcoholic drinks
Yes, you read correctly. In fact they go one stage further and ask you to stand in front of a mirror and rehearse saying ‘No.’ They even suggest ways that you could do it: ‘No thanks, maybe next time.’ ‘No thanks, I’m driving.’ ‘Not now.’ Can you imagine what an idiot you would feel doing that? They also suggest that you rehearse with a friend! Friend? You would have no friends left if you started doing that!
‘Take each day at a time’
First of all it’s a ridiculous suggestion anyway. ‘Take each day as it comes’; how else can you live? Whether you drink or not, you have no choice but to take each day at a time. The main problem with this ‘strategy’ is that it gives the strong impression that the drinker will have to battle all day and every day, coping without drink one day at a time for the rest of his life. There are people who have been going to AA meetings for over twenty years and still stand up and say, ‘I am Albert, I am an alcoholic.’ How on earth can they be an alcoholic if they haven’t had a drink for over twenty years? I have always thought an ‘alcoholic’ can be recognised as someone who drinks to excess on a regular basis, someone who drinks first thing in the morning or somebody who cannot cope without a drink. Paul Merson said during that interview that he was ‘taking each day …’ and that he was going to have to battle and suffer for the rest of his life. What a grim prospect. Suffer? Battle? With what? I suffered too but that was when I was drinking; not now. One of the greatest joys of being free is to no longer have to struggle to gain control, not to have to use willpower or discipline to limit my intake, or to suffer mentally and physically as a result of alcohol. One of the biggest mistakes people make when they stop drinking is to start counting the days. It’s as though each day they are waiting to see whether they fail. It’s no wonder they don’t look forward to quitting as we are constantly conditioned to believe we can never be truly free; that we will always have to battle.
RUBBISH!
Drinkers really can get free and it’s easy. The truth is that they already know that it’s easy to stop drinking. If you think about it, they actually do that every time they finish a drink. The problem is not picking up the next one, and the one after that and the hundreds, if not thousands, after that.
Drinkers really can get free and it’s easy.
My main bone of contention with organisations like Drinkline and AA is that they suggest you are making a real sacrifice, that you will be missing out on some sort of genuine pleasure or crutch and that you will never be able to drink ‘normally’ again because you have a problem. In the Paul Merson interview, he was asked what he would do when the FA Cup was passed around filled with champagne. Paul said sheepishly, ‘I would just pass it on and have a lemonade.’ This question was odd for two reasons. First, why ask the question? It seems strange to ask somebody who you know doesn’t drink alcohol what he would do with champagne. It would be like asking a vegetarian what they would do if offered meat. What did he expect him to do? I would imagine he would carry on celebrating on winning the most important trophy in English football. The question was inappropriate for another reason. The real question should have been, ‘Do you think that you will win the FA Cup’ or ‘How would it feel to win the Cup?’ Why does drink even enter into it? That part of his life is over (or so you would think). But it wasn’t, because in his mind he was still not free. He was pining for something which he hoped he would never have again.
He had stopped drinking for over four years so there was no trace of the drug in his body, yet he and many like him still suffer after they stop. Some people haven’t had a drink in years and are still dying for a drink and feeling miserable. They are still fighting the desire to drink. But where is the physical addiction? Open your mind and ask yourself this question. We have been told that the physical addiction is where the problem lies. But is it? When drinkers go into a clinic to ‘dry out’ for six weeks, they come out with no trace of alcohol in their system yet still have the desire to drink. Most people who go through the awful experience of drying out usually have a drink within the first week of leaving. When I stopped for those three months, the desire or craving for a drink got worse. If it was the physical addiction that caused the craving for the alcohol drug, then I would have been free after only a few days. Alcohol leaves the body very quickly which is essential as it is a powerful poison and if the body stored it we would die. In fact every trace of alcohol has gone after the first week to ten days. I will repeat this medical fact for those who have been conditioned to believe otherwise. Every trace of alcohol has gone from the addict’s system within seve
n to ten days after their last drink. So why anybody needs to dry out for six weeks is a complete mystery. You may already know that there are certain drugs, like disulphiram, which are prescribed to help keep people off alcohol. If you take disulphiram and drink just a tiny amount, it can make you very ill. The drug (apparently) should be continued until the craving for alcohol is lost.
Let me ask you a question: is there any sense whatsoever in taking one drug to get off another? If you think it works for heroin, think again. Methadone, the opiod drug used to wean addicts off heroin, kills more people than the heroin itself. It does not cure the addiction; it simply moves the problem without removing it.
It is ludicrous to think that this kind of approach would be effective in stopping people drinking. You are warned that if you take disulphiram and drink alcohol you may become acutely ill. Acutely ill? If you are hooked on alcohol and somebody says to you, ‘Here, have this drug. After you take it you will not be allowed to drink alcohol. If you do it will make you feel ill.’ What do you think you would do? You wouldn’t stop drinking, you would stop taking disulphiram. Drinkers are not put off by becoming ill, acutely or otherwise. Most drinkers have suffered a humdinger of a hangover at least once. Does that stop them? As for the advice on continuing with the drug until the craving has gone, how long would they expect you to be on this drug? According to them the craving never goes, so the answer must be – forever. The craving is not physical. The reality is that if you were to put a drug in your body which prevented you from drinking alcohol at all, then you would crave it even more as the craving is not physical, it’s psychological. The problem is the way the drug is perceived in the addict’s mind. I never suffered physically when I was on the wagon. I was suffering mentally because I felt deprived of something that I wanted. I was miserable in my mind, not my body. I was in a tantrum state, rather like a child who is not allowed to have his or her toy. I was suffering from mental deprivation and nothing more.